Finding Love Once Again
by JoannHutch
Summary: Lisa Kennedy Holmes had the perfect life. But how will she be able to cope with life after her husband dies from a incurable disease. Will she be able to find love in someone she never thought she would fall in love with.
1. Chapter 1

**_Hey everyone well here it is a new story. I don't have a name for it yet after you read it and you have a name message me please and if the description doesn't work please let me know what you guys think. Hope you like it. _**

I still can't believe he's gone my whole life my world it's gone.

It's been 1 week since the funeral and I still feel so numb not having him here with me.

I was sitting in the cemetery looking at the grave stone it just seems so unreal.

**_John Thomas Holmes _**  
**_Born July 31st 1979_**  
**_Died April 6th 2012_**  
**_Loving Son, Husband and Brother._**

"What am I going to do with you John. I can't go back to that empty house alone."

I didn't think I had anymore tears left to cry but I did. All I could do was cry.

John Holmes was not only my husband he was my best friends we met in high school I guess you could say he was my high school sweetheart and my college sweetheart. We were never apart and when we were it wasn't for very long.

5 years ago John was diagnosed with lung cancer. When the doctors found it he was in stage 1. He went through ever treatment they had and after 3 years his cancer was in complete remission and things were finally starting to get back to normal.

No more medication, No more treatment, John and I were finally going to be able to start living normal lives. We even started talking about starting our family.

It was until that fall day 3 months ago. I was at work when I got a phone call from my mother in law.

_**Flashback 3 months ago January 4th 2012.**_

_**"Hey lisa how was your holiday."**_

_**"Oh hey lacey. It was great oh look what john bought me for Christmas." I said holding up my left wrist to show her my brand new diamond tennis bracelet.**_

_**"Oh my goodness that is gorgeous. I guess it pays to be married to a very popular defense attorney." She said.**_

_**I just smiled and went to my desk. It was a quite morning not much going on at Gold Realtors so I decided to catch up on some paper work left over from being gone for the holidays. Just as I was starting my paper work the phone rang.**_

_**"Gold Realtors. Lisa Holmes speaking."**_

_**"Lisa honey you need to get to the hospital."**_

_**"Alice what's wrong."**_

_**"It's john honey he collapsed at work this morning they are rushing him to the hospital."**_

_**"Alright I'm on my way."**_

_**I hung up and ran out of the office as fast as I could.**_

_**I must have broken a couple speed limits, thankfully there weren't to many cops around.**_

_**When I got to the hospital the first thing I did was go to the nurses station.**_

_**"Can I help you."**_

_**"My husband was rushed her this morning. John Holmes."**_

_**"John Holmes here we are take the elevator up to the 5th floor and make a right at the front desk. I'll call up and tell them your on your way."**_

_**"Thank you."**_

_**I grabbed the visitors pass from the nurse and headed for the elevator.**_

_**When I got to the 5th floor and ran to where alice was.**_

_**"Alice."**_

_**"Sweetheart his cancer is back."**_

_**"No they said he was in remission."**_

_**"He was but they ran some test and it's back and it's spreading."**_

_**"Oh my god."**_

_**"Honey go be with him."**_

_**I walked into john's room and over to his bed. **_  
_**He looked so pale. I took his hand and held it close to my heart.**_

_**"Hi baby." He said with a weak voice.**_

_**"Hi."**_

_**He took his hand and caressed my cheek he wiped away a tear.**_

_**"It's back isn't it."**_

_**I couldn't even speak all I could do was nod my head.**_

_**"Oh baby don't cry I'm sure I'll beat this just like I did the last time."**_

_**I couldn't help but cry. I wanted to believe he could beat it but I was just so scared.**_

_**As the days went by john got weaker and weaker his chemo stopped working, he was losing weight rapidly and his gorgeous wavy brown hair was falling out. I stayed by his side every minute of everyday.**_

_**I would help him in and out of bed, I would feed him and bathe him and make him as comfortable as I could.**_

_**Then it happened.**_

_**It was a warm spring day but the weather changed drastically.**_

_**John was so weak it was hard for him to speak.**_

_**"Lisa." He said in weak voice.**_

_**"Shhh baby don't speak save your strength."**_

_**"Lisa always remember I. I love you."**_

_**"I love you to baby." I said holding his hand.**_

_**Suddenly his hand went limp.**_

_**"John. John."**_

_**"He's gone honey."**_

_**"No Liz he can't be gone. No."**_

_**Liz is my best friend and she was there with me through everything.**_

_**The day john died was the day my life changed forever.**_

_**End flashback.**_

"Lisa honey come on it's chilly out here."

I looked up and saw Liz standing there. She helped me up and took me home.

When I got home I went up to the bedroom that I once shared with john and I saw one of his favorite shirts hanging on the back of the bedroom door I stripped out of my clothes and put on the shirt and breathed in and it still smelled like john. It felt like he was right there with me.

I would lay back in bed and remember the nights we made love, the night we would just lay in bed and listen to music or watch a movie. When I looked at the clock on the night table I saw what time it was it was 8pm and I smiled 8pm on Monday was the time john always loved wwe raw was his fav thing to watch.

I turned on the tv and got comfortable I closed my eyes and I could hear john talking to the tv like he always did. I slowly found myself enjoying wrestling but I knew it wouldn't be the same with john there.

I lost the love of my life and I don't know if I'll ever recover from this.


	2. Chapter 2

It's been a rough time for me it's been 3 weeks since the funeral and I didn't even wanna come out of the bedroom I didn't wanna see anyone.

I was lying in bed staring at the ceiling when I heard someone knocking on the door.

"Lisa honey please open the door."

I had forgotten that Liz was staying with me.

"Lisa please I just wanna make sure your ok. I'm not leaving till you open the door."

I got out of bed and unlocked the door and opened it. And there stood Liz holding a tray of food.

"I brought you something to eat."

"I'm not hungry Liz."

"Honey listen why don't you get away from here for awhile you know take a little trip."

"I can't take a trip Liz there's so much to do here. Beside where would I go everywhere reminds me of John."

"I know honey but locking yourself in here isn't helping. Listen I've got tickets to a wwe show in Virginia beach on Sunday why don't you and I go down to my beach house and just veg out for a few days and then Sunday night will have fun."

I thought about it. Maybe she was right maybe some time away from here would help get my mind off some things.

"Ok ok I'll go."

"Perfect. I'll call the airlines and get the next flight out. You pack and I'll call you later with the details. Lisa I promise everything is gonna be ok and trust me you'll have fun."

I gave Liz a smile and hug.

I hope she was right and I could have some fun.

It was early the next morning when Liz picked me up. We headed to the airport, got on the plane and headed to Virginia Beach.

When we got there Liz rented a car and we headed to her beach house.

"Wow I haven't been here since the divorce and honestly I love my divorce lawyer."

I just smiled and started looking out the window and watched the waves crashing on the beach.

"Hey why don't I go put your bags upstairs and then we can go to the store and get something for supper."

"Would it be alright if I stayed here I'd like to unpack."

"Sure. Ok well I'll be have in a hour."

I grabbed my bags and took them up the room Liz told me to take.  
After I unpacked I grabbed my hoodie and went outside on the deck and just looked around.

The trees were waving in the gentle breeze that blew. The crisp air sent a chill threw my body. I knew in my heart that john was telling me I needed to move on that I needed to not mourn him but I didn't know where to start.

A few days later Liz and I went shopping at some of the many stores that lined the streets of Virginia Beach.

"So where do you wanna go now."

"A book store I need my magazines."

"Ok bookstore it is."

Liz and I walked around the bookstore, Liz loved romance novels so that's where she headed me I headed right for the gossip Mags. I picked out some and was about to head over to find Liz when I heard what sounded like a little girl crying.

When walked to the other side of the magazine rack sitting on the floor was a little girl with brownish blonde hair.

"Sweetie are you ok."

When she looked up with tears in her green eyes she said.

"No I can't find my daddy."

"Oh honey it's ok. Come on I'll help you find him. Now where did you see him last."  
"I don't remember."

"Don't cry will find him. What's your name."

"Madison."

"Hi Madison my name is lisa. Now what does your daddy look like."

"Well he's tall and he has brown hair and green eyes like me. He's got drawings on his arms and hands."

"Drawings oh you mean he has tattoos."

"Yeah."

I smiled.

"Ok well let's see if we can find your daddy."

"That's my daddy."

"Where sweetie I don't see him."

"No there on wall that's my daddy he's standing next to my uncle Paul."

"Wait your daddy is CM Punk."

"Yeah."

I couldn't believe it.

"Ok come on let's see if we can find him."

We walked around the store suddenly I heard someone calling her name.

"Maddie, Madison where are you."

"Daddy."

She let go of my hand and ran to her father.

"Oh baby. I've been looking everywhere for you."

"I'm sorry daddy. I got lost but lisa found me and was helping me find you."

"Who's lisa honey."

I saw Maddie come over to me grab my hand and pull me over to where her dad was standing.

"This is lisa daddy she was helping me find you."

"Thank you so much."

"It was nothing really. I'm lisa." I said sticking out my hand.

"Phil. Again thanks for helping my daughter."

"It was no problem."

"Hey lisa are you ready to go."

"Um yeah Liz this is Madison and this is her dad Phil."

"Um hi phil it's nice to meet you."

I think Liz knew who he was. And she was just as shocked as me.

"Well we better get going it was very nice to meet you Madison and you to Phil."

"It was nice to meet you to. How can I repay you."

"Oh no it was my pleasure. Now Madison you stay with your daddy next time ok."

"I promise. Thank you lisa."

I watched Phil pick up Maddie and carry her out of the store as she waved goodbye.

In the car ride back to the house I was so stunned.

"Ah lisa was that who I think it was."

"Yeah Liz that was CM Punk."

"Wow well It just goes to show you ya never know who your gonna run into."

I thought about what Liz said and I smiled for the first time in weeks I smiled.

Back at the house Liz was cooking dinner when there was a knock on the door.

"Oh lisa can you get that."

I went and answered the door.

"I have a letter for a Mrs. Lisa Holmes and a Ms Liz Montgomery."

"I'm Mrs. Lisa Holmes."

I signed for the letter and went back inside the house

"What is it lisa."

"I don't know it's a letter. Who else knows were here."

Liz just shrugged her shoulders.

So I opened it and read it out loud.

_**"Dear Lisa and Liz,**_  
_**I bet your thinking how I got your address well I have my ways. I just wanted to repay you lisa for helping Madison this morning. Here are two front row tickets and back stage passes to the live wwe show tomorrow night in Virginia Beach. I hope to see you and your friend there.**_  
_**Sincerely, **_  
_**Phil."**_

"Wow girl these seats are better then the ones I have."

"It was sweet of him but it was necessary."

"Sure it was. Wow can you imagine backstage oh I wonder if I can meet randy Orton."

I just smiled and watch Liz get giddy.

The last time I went to a wwe show it was Wrestle Mania 28 and it was with John. He surprised me at the last minute our seats weren't great but I didn't care I was with john and that all that mattered.

I couldn't wait and when I looked at Liz she couldn't wait either.

(had to make a little correction i put wm 29 when i should have put wm 28.)


	3. Chapter 3

_**hey guys if you have any idea's for a title for this story let me know i'll give whoever comes up with the best title for this story credit for the title so here is chapter 3 i hope you like it. **_

Liz and I were getting ready to head to the arena for the wwe house show.

"Oh my god I can't believe we are going to be backstage at a wwe house show. I hear that randy Orton is one sexylicious hunk of man meat."

I just smiled when she said that. Liz was like a little kid on Christmas morning.

"Well with that said shall me go."

"Yes let's."

Liz and I got in her car and headed to the arena.

When we got there liz parked after that we got out and walked to the back entrance of the arena and asked the security guard were we going.

He escorted us inside and took us to a place where some VIP's were at.

"Wow this is so cool I can't believe we are backstage. Oh my god look there's randy Orton, and oh god The Miz. Girl I would not kick those two out of bed in the morning."

I just smiled at Liz it was so fun to see her act like a teenager.

"Lisa."

I heard what sounded like a little girl's voice. When I turned around I saw Madison run over to me.

"Hi Maddie." She was holding the hand a beautiful young girl, Long brown hair amazing figure.

"I'm so glad you're here Lisa I didn't think I would see you again."

"Awe Maddie I'm glad to see you to. Hi I'm lisa you must be Maddie's mother."

"No silly this is AJ she's my best friend."

"Oh I'm so sorry I just thought you were her mom. I'm Lisa."

"I know I've heard so much about you."

I just smiled at Aj she was so sweet and made me and liz feel welcomed.

Since aj had to go and get ready I told her I would watch Maddie.

"So Maddie are you just visiting your daddy."

"No I'm with daddy all the time. It's so much fun."

When I looked at Maddie her smile faded.

"Honey what's wrong."

"I miss my mommy."

"I'm sure your mommy misses you to. But I'm sure you'll get home to see her soon."

"No mommy's up in heaven. She died when I was very little."

"Oh honey I'm sorry. But you know what. Your mommy Is looking down at you and I'm positive that she is smiling at you right now."

"How can you tell."

"Well when the sun is shining and the birds are chirping that's your mommy."

"But what if it's raining."

"If it's raining then she's said and the rain drops are her tears. But she's not sad all the time cause there are times when the sun is out and it's raining."

"She's happy crying."

"That's right she's happy crying."

Maddie turned and smiled at me and it warmed my heart. When I opened my eyes I saw phil standing there smiling.

"Hi daddy."

"Hey baby."

"Hi Lisa."

"Hi."

"Hey Maddie, aurora is looking for you so why don't you go get your coloring books and go play with her for a little while ok."

"Ok daddy. Bye Lisa."

"Bye Maddie."

"Um lisa why don't I go to our seats and give you guys some time to catch up."

"Oh ok thanks Liz."

I watched liz walk away and then the nerves hit me like a ton of bricks.

"So did you guys have trouble getting here."

"No Liz drove she's familiar with the area she lived here when she was a kid."

"Oh wow that's cool. So where are you from."

"New York."

Phil smiled at me and it was so heartwarming.

"Hey Punk who's your friend."

"Dean, Seth, Roman this is Lisa, Lisa this is the shield."

"It's nice to meet you guys. I just love your work."

"Thanks" Dean said.

"Punk the bosses wanna see everyone before the show." Seth said.

"Well I guess I better go to my seat. Guys it was nice meeting you."

"Can you hang out after the show."

"Yes of course."

"Great um meet me in the parking lot out by the buses."

"Oh those big buses in the back."

Phil nodded his head.

"Great I'll meet you there."

Phil smiled and asked one of the security guards to escort me to my seat.

When it came time for Phil's match he came over to where liz and I were sitting and gave me the shirt right off his back but not only that he gave me a kiss on the cheek.

I could feel my face start to flush, liz couldn't stop smiling.

After the show was over Liz and I went to where Phil asked me to meet him.

"Ok missy what was the peck on the cheek all about."

"I don't know."

I honestly didn't know but I didn't care.

"Hey ladies did you enjoy the show."

"Yeah it was awesome you guys are just amazing."

"Thanks Liz. What about you lisa did you enjoy yourself."

"Yes I did. Thanks for the invite and the front row seats. Oh and the shirt."

"Well it's the least I can do. Umm lisa I'm gonna be in town for a few days and I was wondering if you would like to have dinner with me tomorrow night."

"Oh phil I'm sorry but Liz and I already have dinner plans."

"Ok well maybe the next time I'm in New York we could get together."

"Sure."

"Um lisa we better get going you know how traffic is around here at night. Phil thanks for the invite."

"Sure Liz no problem. Thanks for coming."

"Will you say goodbye to Maddie for me."

"I will."

Liz and I found the car and headed home.

On the ride home all I could think about was what phil asked me. I'm sure liz noticed.

"Hey baby doll penny for your thoughts."

"Oh nothing. It's just well Phil asked me out to dinner."

"I heard. So why aren't you going to dinner with him."

"Liz it's to soon. It's only been a few weeks since the funeral I'm not ready for anything like a date yet. Frankly liz I don't think I ever will be. John was the great love of my life. That's not something you get over just like that."

"Your right honey I'm sorry. I'm sure when your ready you'll see Phil again."

Maybe liz was right maybe one day I would be able to move on but in the back of my mind I don't know if I'll ever be able to fall in love again. No one can ever replace John in my heart. But I had to try to move on it's what john would have wanted.


	4. Chapter 4

The next day I was finally starting to feel like myself again, I guess being in the beach house and just relaxing was helping tremendously. I still wasn't sleeping but at least I wasn't having nightmares about losing john.

It was Sunday morning and being the health nut Liz is she went jogging I decided to stay at the house and have a nice cup of coffee on the deck. I was enjoying the waves crash on the beach when I heard the doorbell ring I thought it was one of Liz's friends from her old college boy was I shocked to see him standing there.

"Phil."

"I hope you don't mind me dropping by."

"Of course not please come in. Would you like something to drink, coffee um some water."

"No I'm fine. I was wondering if you would like to go for a walk on the beach."

"Yeah sure just let me grab my sweat coat."

"Hey girl you should have come running with me it was amazing. Oh hey Phil what brings you by."

"Hi liz. Lisa and I are gonna go for a walk on the beach would you like to join us."

"Umm no that's ok I think I'm gonna shower and go into town you guys enjoy your walk."

I came back down, me and phil headed out and down to the beach.

"So lisa tell me about yourself."

"Well you know I'm from New York. But I was born and raised in Miami Florida I moved to New York when I got married. Well I was married." I said grabbing john's ring that I put on chain after he died.

"Oh divorced."

"No my husband died. It will be a month on Tuesday."

"I'm sorry lisa I didn't mean to pry."

"No it's alright."

"If you don't mind me asking what did your husband die from."

"John my husband he died from lung cancer."

"I'm sorry."

"Thank you. So now about you. I know your from Chicago and you're a wrestler."

"Well you know I have Madison she's 5 going on 50. She is so smart I can't even believe it."

"And Maddie's mom she told me she's in heaven."

"Yeah Monica. She was my high school sweetheart. When she told me she was pregnant with Maddie I was floored. It was the happiest I think I have ever been."

"How did Monica die. If that's ok to ask."

"Her pregnancy was really difficult. Monica's blood pressure sky rocketed they did a emergency C-Section to get Maddie out but Monica she lost a lot of blood and the doctor's told me there was nothing more they could do for Monica."

"Oh phil I'm so sorry."

"Thanks."

"Do you have Maddie with you all the time."

"No just in the summer when school starts she goes back to Chicago and stay's with my mom and sisters."

Phil and I walked farther down the beach.

"Phil can I ask you something."

"Yeah."

"Does it get easy. Knowing that the person you've loved for so long isn't there anymore."

"After awhile it does."

"How long did it take you before you felt like yourself before you moved on."

"Well I didn't feel like myself for a long time it took me almost 2 months to even hold Maddie every time I looked at her all I saw was Monica. And honestly I don't I've fully moved on. Yeah I've gone out on dates and had a couple girlfriends but I've never really found anyone I could relate to."

All I could was smile and nod my head I couldn't believe Phil was opening up to me.

"Phil do you think we can maybe keep in touch."

"Yeah I would love that and I'm sure Maddie would like that."

We headed back to the house. I went inside and wrote my number and email address on a piece of paper and handed it to phil.

"Here this is my cell number and email address."

"Great and here's mine. Now if you need to talk about anything you can call me day or night."

"Thanks phil."

Phil gave me a hug and headed out to his car. I watched him drive off and I smiled.

I went back inside the house and liz was coming out of the kitchen.

"So how was your walk."

"It was nice. I told him about john."

"You did. What did he say."  
"Nothing we just talk about things he told me about Maddie's mom I told him about John and we just clicked."

"Really well looks like you've got something in common with him."

"Yeah I guess I do."

I reached into my pocket and pulled out the paper with phil's number on it and I thought that maybe I have more in common with him then I thought.


	5. Chapter 5

A few months later after Liz and I got back from Virginia, Liz went back to work and I was still taking time off from the realtors office.

I was packing up the house I had finally found a buyer and I was moving into a smaller place. As I was packing up I went room to room making sure I had gotten everything when I went into john's office it was like walking into a museum.

I hadn't gone in there since he passed I just couldn't bring myself to do it. But today I had to bite the bullet and go in. When I did it was like walking into history.

The walls were covered in all of John accomplishments I couldn't help but smile. On his desk was the picture of our wedding day I smiled when I picked it up I had forgotten how handsome John looked in his tuxedo.

It took me 3 hours packing up his office. The last thing was his closet I opened it up and all that was in there was his trench coat and a box when I opened it it was filled with video tapes. I picked it up and took it to the bedroom I popped in the first tape I saw marked Vacation.

As it started to play I could hear birds chirping and music playing in the background and then I heard John voice.

**_"Day 1 of our Jamaican vacation. And there you see my beautiful wife lisa sitting there reading her book. Say hi to the camera baby."_**

**_"Hi Camera Baby. John honey what are you doing."_**

**_"I'm making a video of our vacation."_**

**_"Well if you really wanna make a video why don't you put that thing down and come sit with me so we can be in the video together."_**

**_"Yes my gorgeous wife."_**

I could see john set the camera down then I saw John come into view.

"Oh my god baby your so handsome."

I said putting my hand over the ring I wore around my neck.

I must have gone through that entire box, there was everything in there birthday parties, Christmas parties, parties from his law firm but there was one tape that caught my eye.

December 6th 2011

5 months before john died. I put the tape in and pressed play.

_**"Okay baby I'm here now what."**_

_**"John Michael Anderson you are a strange and wonderful man."**_

_**"And you are such a beautiful, wonder and amazing women Mrs. John Anderson."**_

_**"And don't you forget it."**_

As I watched the tape I saw My john so happy and healthy who knew 5 months later he would be gone. The last tape I saw in the box was marked My last days I didn't know what this was so I put it in.

It was in his hospital room. John was so skinny, his hair was gone and his breathing was shallow.

**_"Is it ready mom."_**

**_"Yes honey it's ready are you sure your ok to do this."_**

**_"I'm fine mom."_**

**_"Ok sweetie."_**

**_"Lisa you are my world." He said taking a breath._**

**_"As you can see it's hard for me to talk. Lisa please I don't want you to mourn me forever. You know how much I love you. I know how much you love me.." He took another deep breath._**

**_"I know I'm gonna die baby and I don't want you to sit around the house and cry I want you to get out and live take a trip or just go on an adventure. And I want you to Find Love Again. Find someone you have things in common with like you found in me."_**

**_"Honey do you want your mask."_**

**_"No mom I'm fine. Lisa honey I will always be with you. But please don't be sad. Promise me you won't hurt forever."_**

I looked at the tv screen.

"Oh baby I promise."

**_"I love you baby." John said blowing a kiss to the camera._**

When the screen faded to black it was like the flood gates opened up.

After what seemed like I cried forever I got up and was about to head upstairs when I saw the piece of paper sitting on the table when I picked it up and looked at it and remember its was Phil's number I took the paper upstairs with me.

I grabbed my phone and dialed the number and waited for someone to pick up.


	6. Chapter 6

As I sat and waited for someone to pick up the phone I got nervous what if Phil didn't remember me or what if he had a girlfriend.

I was about to hang up when I heard a voice his voice.

"Hello."

"Phil hey it's lisa."

"Hey lisa. Are you alright you sound upset."

"No I'm not alright."

"What's wrong."

"I was going through some of my husbands things and well it just got to me. I miss him so much phil."

I started to cry hard.

"I know you do honey and it's ok to miss him. Where are you."

"I'm home in New York."

"I'm in New York for some media things for the next week. Why don't I come by your place."

"You would do that for me."

"Yeah. What's your address."

"724 Lakeview Drive."

"Great I'll be there tomorrow morning."

"Ok I'll see you then."

"And Lisa."

"Yeah."

"Try to get some sleep ok."

"I'll try."

I hung up with phil and pulled the covers up and tried to sleep like phil said to do but I couldn't all I could see was John and I together in happy times.

The next morning I was wide awake I don't think I slept at all the night before. I was on the couch when I heard a knock at the door when I answered it I saw Phil was standing there.

"Hi."

"Hey. Please come in."

"I brought some coffee thought you might need it."

I just nodded my head.

When phil walked in I was sitting on the living room couch.

"Whatcha looking at." Phil said setting the coffee down on the table.  
"Just some old pictures."

"Mind if I look with ya."

"Sure."

Phil grabbed a picture.

"When was this taken."

I took the picture from him.

"That was taken right after john graduated. He's a Harvard man."

"Oh a Harvard man. So what did he study."

"Law. He always wanted to be a lawyer, he past the bar the first time he took it. I was so proud of him."

"I'm sure you were."

Phil reached in and grabbed some more pics from the box. He held up a picture of me and john from wrestle mania 28 he was wearing a John Cena t-shirt and I was wearing a wrestle mania 28 hoodie.

"You guys went to mania."

"Yeah wrestle mania 28."

"So he was a cena fan wasn't he."

"Yeah he was."

I saw phil reach back into the box.

"Hey lisa what's this."

He handed me a small box when I opened it up.

"I gave this to John on our wedding day. He collected superhero watches. I found this one when we went to England he wore it everyday until he passed."

"Can I see it."

I handed the watch to him and he smiled.

"batman. You can never go wrong with Batman."

I tried to smile but the tears just fell down my face. Phil saw me crying and put his arms around me. It was the first time I had someone other then my husbands arms around me.

"I miss him so much Phil."

"I know honey. But I promise it will get better it just takes time."

Having phil's arms around me helped me calm down.

"And listen I'll always be there when you need me."

"Thanks that really means a lot to me."

"Now come on wipe those tears and I'll help you pack the rest of john's things."  
"I'd like that." I said with a smile.

As phil and I packed up the rest of John's things I started to feel alittle bit better but I was still far from feeling good but having phil there to help me I think was gonna make it better.


	7. Chapter 7

_**I know it's a little on the short side guys some chapters will be short some might be long i hope everyone is enjoying this story so far. **_

A couple weeks later I was finally settled into my new place. Not only was I settled in I started using my maiden name of Kennedy again.

I sold the big house and got a smaller place with 2 bedrooms just big enough for me one of the rooms I converted into a office.

My boss at the realtors told me I could work from home. So during the week I would work from home and from time to time I would go into the office when they needed me.

While I was catching up on some paperwork my cell phone was ringing.

"Hello."

"Hey lisa it's Liz."

"Hey Liz what's up."

"How would you like to go on a adventure with me."

"An adventure what kind of adventure."

"A girls only adventure. Just you me my new car. So what do you say are you up for a little road tripping."

"Yeah sure. But to where."

"Hmm I don't know. I always wanted to go to Chicago."

I smiled when she said that.

"Yes that sounds amazing."

"Great I'll pick you up say around 6am."

"Sound's great you bring the coffee and I'll spring for the food on the road."

"Awesome see you at 6am sharp. Oh and lisa plan for a long trip."

I just smiled and hung up with Liz and started packing she said pack for a long trip so I did two suitcases full of clothes for the weather whatever it turned out to be.

I just loved liz and her wild spirit. I thought how much fun we would have on this road trip but I couldn't help but think about john and all the trips we wanted to take before he got sick. But I knew john would want me to take this road trip with liz and have fun.

The next morning I woke up bright and early. I took my phone off the charger and saw I had a text from phil so I decided to call him.

"Hello."

"Hey."

"Well good morning gorgeous."

"I got your text and I just wanted to tell you that liz and I are going on a road trip."

"Wow cool so where are you girls headed."

"Well we are gonna road trip to Chicago."

"Your kidding that's great I'll be in Chicago tomorrow. Do you know where your staying."

"Not sure. Liz made the hotel arrangements how bout I text you when we get there."

"Sounds like a plan. Ok well have a safe trip and I'll see you soon."

"Ok thanks, bye phil."

"Bye."

After I hung up with phil liz arrived.

"Hey so you ready for this trip."

"Yes. Oh guess who I was talking to."

"Hmm I would guess by the smile on your face a certain person from Chicago."

"Yeah. He wants to hang out when we get there so I need to text him our hotel info."

"Sweet. Ok so you ready to get this show on the road."

"Yes lets."

Liz and I got in the car and headed out on the road to our destination Chicago Illinois.

I wonder what kind of fun we are going to have. I thought about seeing phil again he's been such an amazing shoulder to lean on.

I don't know what I would do some nights if I didn't have him to call and talk to. I'm so glad he's apart of my life.

But I couldn't help but feel this little twinge of pain in my heart I felt like I was cheating on john with phil.

Right now all I could feel was guilt.


	8. Chapter 8

I texted phil and told him that we were staying at the Hilton room 2104.

Liz picked an amazing room it had a gorgeous view of city. And a balcony to die for.

A few hours later I was in the bathroom finishing getting dressed when I heard a knock on the door I knew liz was in the living room and she would answer it.

"Hey phil."

"Hey liz how are you. How was your trip."

"It was amazing."

"Guys this is Liz. Liz this is Dean, Aj and Seth."

"It's nice to meet you guys."

"Hey liz where's lisa."

"I think she is finishing getting ready. Hey lisa you ready phil is here."

Before I checked myself out in the mirror I started feeling so guilty. I couldn't do it I couldn't go out I changed back into my sweats and went into the living room.

"Hey look I'm sorry but I'm just not up to going out tonight."

"Are you sure lisa. We could order a pizza and just hang out here."

"No Phil please you guys go I think I'm just gonna go lay down. I'm sorry."

I went outside to sit on the balcony.

"I don't understand she was fine not 15 minutes ago."

"Liz um why don't you go on ahead with Aj, dean and seth and I'll stay behind."

I thought everyone had left to go out. I didn't even know someone came out.

"Hey."

When I looked up phil was standing there. I put my head back down I didn't want him to see me cry.

I could feel phil bend down next to me and place his hand on my back.

"Lisa everything is gonna be ok."

"When, when will the pain and hurt go away."

"I don't know you just have to feel it."

I got up and walked over to the railing.

"Phil when you first started to date again do you ever feel guilty. Like you were cheating on your girlfriend even though she was gone."

"All the time. I can remember the first time I went on a date. All night I kept thinking why am I here I have an amazing girlfriend that I love more then life itself but then it hit me she's not there."

"Phil I was in the bathroom dressed and ready to go out with you but something inside me kept telling me this is wrong what would your husband say. Then I thought it's not even been a year since he passed. I just don't know what to do."

"I know how you feel lisa I really do. When Monica died every time I saw a picture of her it would just hit me all over again I would sit there and think why why did this have to happen. Why did she have to die why did she die and leave me and leave Madison. It wasn't fair but if it wasn't for my sister's and my mom I never would have gotten through it."

"Yeah but you have people in your life. Your family your friends. I don't have anyone all I had was john he was my everything. The day he died apart of me died with him. And all I really feel is alone."

"But your not alone. You got liz and more importantly you've got me."

I felt phil put his arms around me and I just hugged him.

"You know it's not to late you still wanna go join Liz she's with my friends."

"Yeah I would love that."

"Ok go get dressed."

I started to walk back into the hotel room but I turned around.

"Phil."

"Yeah."

"Thanks."

"For what."

"For being you. For being a shoulder to lean on."

"Well I've got two shoulders no waiting."

I smiled and so did he and when he smiled it warmed my heart.

After 15 minutes I was finished getting dressed. Phil and I headed downstairs to the hotel restaurant where I saw Liz sitting with Phil's friends.

"Lisa." I saw Liz get up and come over to me and hugged me.

"I'm sorry liz."

"Hey no don't be sorry. Are you ok."

"Yeah I think so."

I turned and looked at phil and smiled.

"Good come on come meet phil's friends. And for the record Seth is really hot."

I just smiled at liz.

Phil introduced me to his friends and they were all amazing and funny. I could tell Dean and Aj had a little thing and seth he was making goo goo eyes at Liz all night.

As for me well I couldn't stop laughing at everything phil was saying. It was finally what I needed I needed a good old fashion laugh and phil was making that happen.

The night had turned out better then I thought it would. We all got along so well.

Dean and Aj had gone back to there hotel. Seth and liz went for a walk and phil walked me back to the hotel room.

"Oh wow I gotta tell ya Dean is one amazing guy. And Aj oh man those two are perfect together."

"Yeah they are. And what about seth and liz they really hit it off didn't they."

"They sure did. Phil thanks for walking me back."

"It was nothing."

"I hope we can keep in touch more."

"Count on it."

Phil leaned in and kissed me on my cheek.

"Sweet dreams lisa."

"Sweet dreams phil."

After I shut the door I touched my cheek I felt my whole body get flush. I thought to myself how surprisingly soft his lips were.

I got ready for bed and drifted off to sleep. And I prayed that I would have good dreams tonight and in my heart I knew I would.

Thanks to phil.


	9. Chapter 9

Over the next few months I kept in touch with phil. He would call me every night to make sure I was doing ok.

Not only was phil calling me but I was also becoming good friends with a lot of his friends at work. A couple of those friends were Kofi Kingston and Dean Ambrose.

One day I was sitting outside with Liz she had dropped by for a visit when I heard my phone ringing.

"Hello."

"Hey there gorgeous."

"Dean is that you."

"Yeah of course it's me who else would call you gorgeous."

"What's up."

"Not much just wanted to see how things were with you."

"Things are fine I'm just sitting outside with Liz."

"Oh cool well tell her I said hi. The reason I'm calling was we are going to be in your neck of the woods next week and I wanted to see if you and Liz wanted to join me and some of the guys for dinner after our house show."

"I think I can speak for Liz when I say yes of course we would love to join you guys."

"Great I'll call you later in the week."

"Ok looking forward to it."

"Bye lisa."

"Bye Dean."

"So what's up with hottie shield member."

"Dean invited you and me to dinner next week when they come into town for a house show." I said with a very big smile on my face.

"If I didn't know any better I would say you are looking forward to seeing a certain Chicago native."

"What makes you think that."

"Cause it would mean 2 things. 1 you get to see phil and 2 you get to see phil."

"I do miss him he has been such a big help to me. He's gone through what I've been going through and I thank god he came into my life when he did."

"I think it's more then that lisa. I think you really like phil."

I just gave Liz a look but I think Liz could tell I did have feelings for Phil.

That next week Dean called me and told me where they were going to be having dinner.

When Liz and I arrived at the restaurant I could feel my whole body tense up and Liz noticed.

"Hey you ok your shaking."

"Yeah I'm fine I'm just really nervous. Do I look ok."

"Honey you look gorgeous. Phil won't be able to take his eyes off you."

I smiled at Liz.

Liz was right I was nervous and excited all at the same time.

All I wanted to do was have a nice time with Phil and his friends.

I just hope I could enjoy myself and not think about john tonight but I could tell that was going to be hard.

We walked into the restaurant.

"Hello can I help you ladies."

"Yeah I think the reservation is under Ambrose."

"Ambrose, ambrose ah yes. The rest of the party is already here. Ladies please follow me."

We followed the hostess to a back room. When we got in there I could see a big table in the back.

"Hey lisa you made it."

"Hi Aj."

She got up from sitting next to dean.

Seated at the table was of course dean and Aj, Kaitlyn, Natalya, Seth which liz was so happy about and sitting in the back was phil.

When I saw him I couldn't stop smiling and man did he look amazing.

He was wearing a comic book t-shirt blue jeans and his hair had grown out it was short but spiked up he looked so good.

"Hi beautiful."

"Hi."

Phil took me in his arms and hugged me tight. I just melted into his embrace and I breathed in his scent letting it fill my lungs.

After he let go we joined the rest of the party.

Phil held my hand all through dinner and to be honest it was nice.

"So how are you."

"I'm good. How about you."

"I'm good myself. I'm so glad you're here Lisa."

"I'm glad I'm here to."

Phil smiled at me and I could feel my heart flutter.

It was the first time in a long time my heart did this.

The first time it happened was when I met john.


	10. Chapter 10

After dinner we decided to go back to the hotel everyone was staying at and hang out.

Dean, AJ, Seth and Liz were in the living room watching TV and Phil and I went outside and sat on the balcony. He poured me a glass of wine and himself some mineral water.

"So how have you been." he said handing me the glass of wine.

"Thank you. Things are good. How's the road been."

"The road it's been rough, good but rough."

After he told me about the road I just looked out at the lights of the city and I think phil noticed.

"Hey you alright."

"Hmm oh yeah I just have a lot on my mind."

"It's been 7 months since john died. I got a letter from his mom a couple weeks ago. She was going through some of his personal papers and she found a letter that john had written me. He wrote it 2 months before he died."

"What did the letter say."

I could feel the tears building up in my eyes. My whole body started to shake. Phil could tell I was upset he took the glass from my hand and put his arms around me.

"He wrote to tell me he knew he was dying. When I read it to myself it felt like he was sitting right there next to me. I was so angry after I read the letter. He knew he dying and he told me nothing he hid it from me. Maybe if I knew about it I would have been able to accept it better but kept this from me."

"I wish there was something I could say to help you but I can't."

"Just having you here really helps phil. Thank you."

"Anytime I'm always here for you."

I smiled at phil, he kept his arms around me and held me tight.

Over the next couple days liz and I spent all our time hanging with the guys and it was fun.

One warm afternoon everyone was over at Liz's place cooling off in the pool.

"Seth stop it I mean it don't you dare dunk me."

"Oh come on Lizzy your no fun. It's just water you won't melt."

I stood there and watch Liz tunr her back on Seth which was a mistake he picked her up and tossed her in the pool but liz turned around and grabbed hold of Seth's sleeve and they both went into the pool.

Me, Aj, Kaitlyn, Dean and Phil could not stop laughing.

Later that night Liz went with the gang to get some pizza and munchies and I stayed behind with Phil.

Phil and I decided to go for a walk in Time Square. Phil was worried he would be recognized so I gave him something to wear she he wouldn't get recognized.

"Lisa are you sure no one will recognize me in this get up."

"Well you relax if no one could recognize me in it they won't recognize you. But if any one ask you're my friend from California."

I took phil everywhere. When he's wrestling he never really has time to go sightseeing. One of the places I took him to was on my favorite ice cream parlor. We got some ice cream and then headed to a park with a great view.

"Wow lisa this place is gorgeous."

"Yeah I would come here a lot."

I looked over and saw a group of children playing I didn't even realize it but I let out a sigh and phil heard it.

"What's wrong lisa."

I didn't answer him I just kept watching the kids playing.

Back at liz's place we settled in for a night of movie's, pizza and munchies.

Liz sat on the floor next to seth with Aj and dean and kaitlyn next to them.

And I sat on the couch with phil.

While we were watching the movie I placed my head on Phil's shoulder. Then phil took his arm and put it around my shoulder and his hand brushed the back of my neck and within seconds I felt the butterflies when his hand touched my exposed skin.

I guess Phil felt me shiver which made him tighten his arm around me.

I was so relaxed I fell asleep before the movie was over.

"Phil I think she's asleep."

I could feel phil remove his arm from under my head.

"I hate to wake her, she hasn't been sleeping much lately."

"Where's her room I'll take her there."

"It's just down the hall second door on the left."

I could feel phil pick me up and without even thinking I put my arms around his neck.

Phil took me to my room and placed me gently on the bed. I could feel him brush a piece of hair off my face. When he did that I felt something I didn't know what but it was something.

I wonder if phil was starting to feel the same way or if he just thought of me as a friend.


	11. Chapter 11

I was tossing and turning I thought I was sleeping peacefully but I wasn't. The next thing I knew I was sitting up in bed but my surroundings were different I wasn't where I thought I was I was home. The home I shared with john.

I got up out of bed and walked over to the bed room door and opened it. I went into the hallway and the first thing I smelled was fresh brewed coffee. It made me smile. I went down stairs and that's when I saw him.

It was John he was sitting on the couch reading his newspaper just like he did every Sunday morning.

"John."

"Well good morning sleepy head."

I couldn't believe it. I went over the couch, sat down and touched his face. I smiled he was really sitting there.

"Oh my god John I can't believe it. Your alive."

I pulled john into my arms.

"Honey of course I'm alive. Are you alright."

"Yes I'm fine I'm better then fine. I'm so glad your ok."

John smiled and kissed me. He got up and walked away but when I went to follow him he was gone. When I turned around I was back at the funeral home looking at a casket and inside was john holding the white rose I had placed in his hands.

All I wanted to do was scream my whole body started shaking once again I shot up in bed and let out a scream.

"No John."

I screamed so loud. I felt like I was running through a fog. I could hear voices but I couldn't make out who's voices they were.

"Lisa hey Lisa wake up."

"Phil what's wrong with her."

"I don't know Dean. Her eyes are open it's like she's in some kind of a trance. Lisa honey it's Phil wake up."

When I heard someone call my name asking me to wake up all I could hear was John's voice. When I looked I saw John sitting in front of me.

"John oh baby I knew it wasn't a dream I knew your were alive." I said grabbing john's hands.

"Phil why is she calling you john."

"Dean get liz she's outside with seth and aj."

"Oh baby I was so scared I lost you. Please don't ever leave me again."

"Lisa honey you need to wake up."

"I am awake. Please kiss me baby I miss you so much."

I saw john smile and lean in and kiss me. His lips felt so soft.

When I pulled away from John I turned and saw liz.

"Liz look. It's john he's here he came back to me."

I saw liz kneeled down in front of me with a concerned look on her face.

"Honey that's not john sweetie that's phil. Remember John passed away."

"No liz your wrong he's right here don't you see him."

"Lisa you have to wake up. Come on wake up."

I felt my eyes close and my head got heavy the next thing I see is Liz, Dean, Aj, Seth and phil standing in front of me concerned.

"Liz what's going on."

"Honey do you remember anything."

"I was sleeping and I had a dream that I was home with john. Why what happened."

"Lisa you thought, you thought Phil was john."

"Oh my god. Phil I'm so sorry." I said feeling the tears well up in my eyes.

"Shh it's ok. I understand. Listen why don't I leave you here with liz ok."

Liz held me as I cried. I can't believe this happened.

"It's okay honey."

"Liz what did I do."

"Well you thought phil was john and when I came in here you were kissing him."

I put my head in my hands.

"Oh my god he must think I'm so kind of freak."

"No honey he doesn't he's just worried about you we all are."

After about an hour of talking to liz about what happened I asked her to get phil.

"Hey."

"Hi."

"Liz said you wanted to see me."

"Yeah I wanted to apologize for what I did and what happened."

"Hey no it's ok I understand. Listen you need to get some sleep ok so I'm gonna go."

"Phil."

"Yeah."

"Will you stay with me I just don't wanna be alone tonight."

"Sure slide over I like the right side of the bed."

I smiled and slide over and let phil get comfortable. He put his arms around me and I placed my head on his chest. I felt myself relax and drift off to sleep. The sound of his heart beat was soothing. Being in phil's arms made me feel, it made me feel amazing.

All I could feel were butterflies in my stomach it was the first time since john that I was feeling this way. And honestly I liked it. And I wanted more. A lot more.


	12. Chapter 12

The next morning I woke up and I was still in Phil's arms my head was resting on his chest. Hearing his heart beat was soothing. I could feel him start to stir.

"Good Morning."

"Morning."

"Did you sleep ok."

"Actually for the first time in awhile I slept good."

I got out of bed and walked over to the window overlooking the city. I could hear phil get out of bed his bare feet shuffling on the floor.

When I turned around Phil was standing behind me. His hair was messy and he looked so handsome. I wanted to say something but all I could say was.

"I'm gonna go see is Liz is up."

I walked passed Phil I was praying he would stop me or say something that would make me turn around but he didn't.

I went into the living room and saw Liz sitting on the couch chatting with Aj, Dean and Seth.

"Hey honey how did you sleep."

"Fine."

"Are you sure."

"yeah."

I saw phil come out of the bedroom dressed and ready to go.

"Hey guys we better get going we've got a long drive ahead of us. Thanks for everything Liz."

"Phil it was my pleasure. Hope to see you soon. All of you."

Everyone said there goodbyes and I watched all them leave. I went back in the house and grabbed a cup of coffee.

"Alright miss I wanna know what's wrong why are you so quite."

I didn't wanna answer Liz but I knew she wouldn't stop till she got an answer.

"Liz it's nothing really."

"Lisa I have known you all your life and I know when something is bothering you now come on fess up you know I don't stop nagging till I get what I want."

I set my cup down on the counter and sighed. I knew she was right so I bite the bullet.

"Liz do you think I'm a horrible person."

"No of course not why would you even think that."

"Last night when I thought Phil was John I felt awful I kissed him, I kissed Phil thinking he was john."

"Oh honey you were dreaming I'm sure Phil knows you didn't mean it. He was just as worried about you as the rest of us."

"It's just when I woke up in his arms it felt so good but then I thought about john and what he would think of me right now."

"Honey john has been gone for 9 months I'm sure he would want you to be happy, to move on with your life and not stand still."

"But liz that's the thing I don't know if I'm ready to move on I want to I really really do but something is holding me back I don't know if."

I was cut off by liz.

"You don't know if phil is the right man to move on with."

All I could do was nod my head.

"Listen honey I know all this is frustrating and draining so why don't you go back to bed and try to rest ok. And don't worry about dinner I'm cooking tonight."

I just smiled and headed back to bed.

All I could think about was Phil's arms around me holding me making me feel so safe.

I prayed that I would feel his arms around me once again but I wasn't sure if that was ever gonna happen.


	13. Chapter 13

The days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months before I knew it was 1 year to the day john passed away.

Phil would call me everyday to talk to me but I wouldn't return his calls. I know he wanted to be there for me but all I seemed to be doing was shutting every out and shutting myself off from everyone including Liz.

April 6th 2013 one year later and I felt just as numb as the day he passed away.

It was gray, gloomy and raining out. There was a chill in the air. A chill that cut through me like a knife through butter.

I wanted to go back to sleep but every time I closed my eyes all I could see was John and his smiling face and his crystal blue eyes shining.

I decided to get dressed I got in the car and drove the nearest flower shop to pick up some fresh flowers. I picked up tulips they were his favorite flowers.

When I got to the cemetery the rain was just a fine mist. I walked to John's gravesite. I smiled and kneeled down on the ground I placed the flowers in front of me on the ground.

"John I miss you so much. I know it's been a year but I still can't believe your gone."

I could feel the tears star to fall my cold face and the warm tears made me shiver.

"I read your letter. I read it every night it still feels like your with me. Liz took me to her beach house after you died. It felt really good to get away. That's when I met Madison oh she is a beautiful little girl. And you will never believe who her daddy is. It's Cm Punk. She got lost in a bookstore and I helped her find him and ever since then Phil and I have been close."

I couldn't stop crying.

"John I feel so guilty, I feel like I've been cheating on you. Phil said he felt that way when his girlfriend Madison's mom past away when she was born. You told me in not just your letter but you told me in the video you made that you want me to move on to find someone that I had in common with. I did well I thought I did I mean phil is something special he's not at all like his character on tv. He's such an amazing person. But when I'm around him I feel like I'm hurting you some way. I know it's silly but I just don't know what to do. I wanna move on John but I can't I just can't."

It was like someone turned a faucet on the tears were streaming down my face.

I could hear what sounded like footsteps when I looked up I saw someone standing in front of me.

"Hey Darlin."

That voice I know that voice could it be.

"John. Is that you."

"Yeah baby it's me." He said kneeling down in front of me.

"But how. Am I dreaming again."

"Well sort of your awake but I'm here. I'm as real you want me to be. And honey believe me when I saw this I will always love you no matter what. I've seen you with phil and it warms my heart to see a man so caring and so amazing be just as amazing to you. And I believe that he cares about so much hell maybe even more then I did."

"But john I'm ready to give up I'm not ready to believe your gone."

"Honey I know but you have to I'm gone and I'm not coming back believe me if I could I would in heartbeat. I'm in a good place right now. I'm not sick on in pain. I like it here believe me I'm happy and I ever wanted was for you to be happy to and I see that when your with phil. He's making you happy. But you need to start letting yourself be happy to."

"How."

"That's something you have to find on your own. But just know that Phil is a good man I know in my heart he will treat you with the same respect and devotion that I did I love you baby."

"I love you to john."

When I looked up he was gone that's when the rain fell harder.

I didn't know it but back at my place liz was looking for me.

_**Liz pov.**_

Knowing what today was I went to Lisa's place to keep her company when I got there her car wasn't in the drive so I used the key she gave me for emergency's.

"Lisa hey lisa honey are you here."

I looked everywhere and she was no where to be found. I started to freak out I did the only thing I could do.

"Hello."

"Phil it's Liz."

"Liz what's wrong you sound freaked."

"I can't find lisa anywhere did she call you."

"No she didn't"

"Oh god I was afraid of this."

"Liz don't worry I'm at my buddy's place I'll drive around and see if I can find her."

"Ok I'll stay here at her place and call some people. Phil please you have to find her she needs to be around people right now especially today."

"I know. When I find her I'll call you. Don't worry I'll find her."

After I hung up with phil all I could think about was Lisa and where she could be.

**_Phil's POV._**

After I hung up with liz I thought about where Lisa could be and then it hit me today was exactly a year after her husband had passed away.

Lisa could be at the only place I could think of. I just hoped she ok.


	14. Chapter 14

_**Phil's POV**_

I drove as fast I could to the cemetery. Well as fast as I could without ending up in the cemetery myself. When I got there I parked the car and noticed lisa's car outside the gates.

I ran in and started calling out her name.

"Lisa, Lisa where are you."

Damn I didn't know if she would be able to hear me the rain was coming down hard.

I ran to where liz had once told me John was buried. As I got closer I saw something in front of john's grave stone.

"Lisa."

When she looked up at me her face was pale white and she was shivering.

"Lisa."

"Phil."

"Yeah it's me. Honey everyone is worried about you."

She put her head down and I could her hear sobbing. It was killing me seeing her like this. So lost and broken."

"Come on I'm taking you home."

I helped her to her feet but she was shaking and shivering from the cold pounding rain I scooped her up and headed to my car. I placed her in on the passenger side I covered her with a blanket that was in the backseat. I got in a turned the heat on full blast. I pulled out of the cemetery and hauled ass to lisa's place.

**_Liz POV_**

I was waiting for some kind of word from phil and if he found lisa yet. Thankfully seth was with Phil he dropped him off to keep me company.

"Liz honey please come sit down you gonna put a permanent hole in the floor."

"I just want phil to call or something."

Just as I was about to sit down I heard a car outside I ran to the window and saw Phil grabbing lisa out of the passenger side of the car.

Phil walked in the front door carrying a very cold and shivering lisa in his arms. I was so scared.

"Liz get me all the blanket's and dry clothes lisa has. Seth put on some coffee and see if you can find a heating pad or something."

I watched him place her on the bed. I grabbed a heavy blanket from her bedroom closet.

"Here phil this should warm her up. Listen why don't I finish getting er undressed why don't you go get out of those wet clothes before you catch pneumonia."

_**Phil's POV**_

I did what liz said I went and got out of the damp wet clothes that was sticking to me. Thankfully I had some sweats in my car.

When I went back into lisa's room I saw liz putting a heavy sweatshirt on lisa.

"How is she." I said drying off my hair.

"Cold but I think she'll be ok. Why don't you stay here with her. I'll go get some soup that should warm you guys up."

I watched Liz leave the room. I went over to lisa and held her hand. I didn't mean to wake her but I did.

"Hi." she said softly.

"Hi." I said sitting down next to her on the bed.

"Thank you for being here. I'm sorry I worried you. I didn't mean to."

"Shhh I know don't talk save your strength."

"Phil. I'm cold I can't stop shaking."

I did the only thing I could think of. I pulled back the blanket and got in with lisa. I pulled lisa close to me I could feel her starting to warm up. When I looked down I saw that she was asleep.

I kissed the top of her head. I noticed her hand move to my chest I grabbed it and held it in mine. I could feel my eyes growing heavy.

**_Liz's POV._**

I headed to lisa's room with a tray of chicken soup and some tea.

When I went in I saw Lisa and phil sound asleep. I smiled and slowly backed out of the room.

"Hey what's wrong."

"There asleep."

I took the tray back to the kitchen.

"Hey seth you think you could give me a ride home. I think it's best if we let them sleep it's been a long day."

Seth agreed and took me home. I'm glad phil was here for lisa she needs someone to lean on and phil was just that person.

_**Lisa**_

I opened my eyes a little and saw someone in my bed but then I remembered what happened.

I smiled knowing it was phil holding me in his arms. I snuggled up to his chest. In my head I felt like I was finally ready to move on with my life and put john behind me but would my heart let me move on with phil.


	15. Chapter 15

When I woke up the next morning I was still in Phil's arms and truthfully I liked it. It was like being wrapped up in a big fluffy blanket.

When I went to move I could feel Phil's arms tighten around me and I smiled.

"Hmmm morning."

"Morning."

I saw Phil smile when I looked at him.

"Are you hungry. I could make you some breakfast."

"Nope you are staying in bed. I'll cook beside you need your rest you had a rough day yesterday." He said leaning over to kiss my forehead

When he got out of bed he was wearing a t-shirt and sweat pants that hugged his body. I just couldn't take my eyes off him.

**_Phil's POV_**

When I got in the kitchen I heard the front door open

"Hello."

"In the kitchen Liz."

I saw liz coming in with two bags full of groceries.

"Good morning."

"Morning Liz. Here let me help you."

"Thanks. So how's Lisa."

"She's ok she just woke up. She seems ok but I'm not sure."

I took what was in the bag out and placed it on the counter.

"Well that's good."

"Yeah. Listen why don't you go sit with her and I'll make us something to eat."

Liz nodded and headed to lisa's room.

**_Lisa_**

I was flipping through the channels on tv when I heard a knock on the door.

"Come In."

"Hey honey."

"Hi liz."

Liz came over to sit on the bed I reached out and hugged her.

"How ya feeling honey."

"Good. Alittle wron out but I'm ok."

"You know you had me worried. When I came here yesterday and couldn't find you I got scared."

"I know liz and I 'm so sorry but I needed to see John and I did."

"Honey what do you mean you saw John."

"Your going to think I'm absolutely nuts but when I was sitting there talking to john's gravestone he appeared to me."

"You mean like a dream."

"All I saw was this bright white light and then I saw him like I see you right now. And he looked so handsome. He was wearing this gorgeous white suit his hair was perfect he looked amazing."

"What did he say."

I could feel the tears begin to build up.

"He told me that he was happy that I have Phil in my life and that I needed to move. That I needed to give him up to let his memory go but he would always be in my heart."

"Baby he's right it's been a year a whole year. You took care of him when he needed you. You where there for him at his worse time now you need someone to do that same and I know who that is."

I looked at liz and smile and we both at the same time said.

"Phil."

And it was that moment that I knew I needed to move on and I knew just how I was going to do that.


	16. Chapter 16

_**Hey guys sorry it took me so long to get this chapter loaded. I was sick for a couple days. Fun weather in philadelphia :) but here is Ch 16 i hope you all like it. **_

A few days later I was spending a lot of phil he took some time off to rest up from a injury he suffered in a match with Randy Orton.

One day I was at my place in New York waiting for Phil to arrive he was flying in from Chicago and the last time I talked to him he said he was bringing me a surprise I couldn't wait to see what it was.

"So when is the hottie from Chi Town getting here."

"He should be here soon Liz."

As I was on the phone with Liz I heard a car pull up.

"Hey Liz hold on a second I think I hear a car."

I walked over to the window and saw Phil pulling into the drive.

"Liz he's here I'll call you tonight."

"Alright honey have fun and be good."

I hung up with Liz and went to open the door and when I did was I happy to see my surprise.

"Lisa."

"Madison." I said picking her up and hugging her.

"I've missed you lisa."

"I've missed you to sweetie. Maddie where's your dad."

"He's at the car getting the bags. Can I have some water I'm thirsty."

"Sure you can honey. There are some bottles of water in the fridge."

I set Maddie down and when I turned around I saw phil standing at the door.

"Hi."

"Hey."

He reached out his arms and hugged me. It felt so good to be in his arms again.

"Where should I put these."

"Um back room. I set up the sofa bed for you. But I don't have anything for Maddie I didn't know she was coming with you."

"Thanks ok she's little and doesn't take up much space."

"Well that's a relief."

"Good so I'm gonna go take these back can you keep an eye on Maddie."

I nodded and watched him take the bags back. I went into the living room and saw Maddie sitting on the couch looking at her story book.

"Lisa will you read to me."

"Sure."

She handed me the book and snuggled next to me.

"And then the handsome prince climbed up the outside of the tallest tower and rescued the princess and they lived happily ever after."

"Lisa can I ask you something."

"Sure honey you can ask me anything."

"Do you like my daddy."

"Of course I like your daddy. I like him very much."

When I looked down she was playing with a string on her dress but she looked sad.

"Maddie honey what's wrong."

"I think daddy misses momma."

"Well honey what makes you think daddy misses momma."

"I saw him looking at a picture of mommy and he was crying. Daddy never cry's he's a tough guy. Lisa do you think mommy misses me."

I picked Maddie up and placed her on my lap.

"Of course she does sweetheart. And I'm sure that mommy is looking down at you and you know what."

"What."

"I think she's smiling."

"Really."

"Yeah. She's smiling because you are taking such amazing care of your daddy. And I bet she is so proud of you."

Maddie through her arms around me and hugged me.

"I love you lisa."

"I love you to sweetie."

When I looked up I saw Phil standing there smiling. He came over to the couch and sat down with us. He put his arms around me and Maddie.

And you know what this felt right, it felt like I was part of a real family. In my heart I could feel myself falling for phil I was already head over heels in love with Maddie.

It was only a matter of time before I could fall in love in phil I was hoping sooner rather then later.


	17. Chapter 17

Later that night after Phil put Maddie to bed he joined me on the couch in the living room.

"She is out like a light. Whatcha got there."

"Just a magazine."

When phil saw what I was looking at he smiled.

"Is that the old summer slam issue."

"Yes it is. You guys looked like you had so much fun."

"We did. But the downside of that shoot was I got really bad sunburn."

We both laughed looking at a picture of Phil with Aj and kaitlyn. I couldn't stop looking at the picture. It was then I could feel Phil watching me. I turned to him and smiled.

"What."

"Nothing I was just thinking about great you were with Maddie today. She really loves you." He said playing with my hair.

"I love her to, she is an amazing little girl, but she is very worried about her daddy."

"Worried why is she worried about me."

"She told me she saw you looking at pictures of her mommy and that you were crying."

"Oh yeah. I was cleaning out a closet and I found a box of pictures."

"What where they of."

"Pictures of Monica after Maddie was born. She was just a few minutes old. Maddie was so tiny. And Monica looked so amazing. She was smiling and laughing and then suddenly everything went crazy."

I could see Phil was getting upset.

"Are you ok."

"Yeah I'm fine."

I pulled phil in for a hug. When I pulled away from phil he placed his hand on my cheek and caressed it.

Then he pulled me close to and that's when our lips met.

His lips were so soft it was like I was living in a dream. The kiss was soft and caring. I melted into his kiss and into his embrace.

His arms around me keeping me safe and wanted.

The kiss felt like it lasted forever. When the kiss ended I smiled.

I rested my head on phil's chest I could hear his heart beating the rise and fall of his strong chest was soothing. I couldn't stop smiling and neither could phil.

**_Phil's POV._**  
I have waited so long to kiss her. It was like I was floating on a cloud. Her lips were softer then I imagined they would be. I could hear her sigh it was like music to my ears.

She's so good to me and my daughter. I can't imagine a day where I'm not thinking about her. What she's doing, whether or not she's happy or sad and if she is sad how can I help her be happy.

But I already know what makes her happy and that's being around us being around me and more importantly being around Maddie.

I never realized how much we both need each other. We both went through similar things. There was this strong connection we both had so much in common with each other.

"Phil."

"Yeah."

"You wanna watch tv."

I smiled.

"Yeah. Ladies choice."

She turned on the tv.

I grabbed a blanket and we snuggled under it and watched some tv.

A few hours later I looked down and saw she was asleep. I didn't have the heart to wake her so I shut off the light and put my arms around her and fell into a bliss full sleep.

Be there with lisa was amazing. All I wanted was to make her happy and I hopped I could do just that.


	18. Chapter 18

Over the next couple days I was enjoying my time with Phil and Maddie. I could see how great of a father he is to Maddie. He treats her like a little princess. All I could do was smile.

Hearing her laugh, seeing her smile just made me feel so good.

One day I hope that I have the love of a child in my life.

On the last day that phil and Maddie were there I decided to spend the day in and watch movies you know just relax.

Sitting on the couch with phil watching Maddie on the floor watching the movie made me feel like a little family.

This was the life I always wanted with john. Just a lazy afternoon just me him and our little girl or boy.

I felt like I was looking at my future that I never got. Apart of me was sad but another part of me was happy to have them in my life. Maddie and Phil are the reason I'm living a normal life again.

They are the reason I'm not sitting alone in a dark room crying my eyes out. Maddie and Phil have given me life again. And I couldn't be happier.

I was so happy I didn't even hear my phone ringing. When I looked it was my boss.

"Oh I gotta take this I'll be right back. Lisa Kennedy."

**_Phil's POV._**  
I watched lisa go into her back room and I couldn't help but smile.

"Daddy."

"Yeah baby."

"Can lisa come home with us."

"Oh baby I think she would miss her own house and her friends to much if she came home with us."

I could see that Maddie was a little sad. So I picked her up and set her on my lap.

"But I have a great idea why don't we invite her to come visit us for Christmas would you like that."

"Yes daddy I would love that." She said putting her arms around my neck and hugging me tight.

When I looked up I saw lisa coming back in the room.

"Hey you two what has got you so happy little miss."

"Can I ask her daddy."

I just nodded at her.

"Lisa."

"Yes honey."

"Will you come home with us and spend Christmas in Chicago with me and daddy."

Lisa looked at me and then at Maddie and smiled.

"Madison I would love to come to your house in Chicago for Christmas."

"Yippee." I watched Maddie hug lisa. I smiled so big. I loved seeing my little girl so happy I loved seeing lisa happy as well.

"Daddy she's gonna come visit us for Christmas."

"I heard baby. Now do daddy a big favor start getting your stuff together we have a long drive ok."

I set her down and she went and got her stuff together.

I walked over to lisa and held her.

"You are just going to love Chicago at Christmas. The lights the decorations the snow it's nothing short of spectacular."

"I can't wait."

She pulled away from me and walked over to the window.

**_Lisa._**  
I walked over to the window and looked out at the tree's blowing in the wind. I felt phil place his hands on my shoulders.

"Are you ok."

"Yeah I'm fine why."

"You just seem tense."

"Well this is gonna be my first Christmas without." I said feeling myself get choked up.

"Without John."

I just nodded my head.

"Well I'm not john but I hope you being with me and Maddie I hope it will be special."

I turned around and looked into Phil's green eyes.

"Being with you is special. You've been there for me through everything and I can't thank you enough for that. And Maddie inviting me into your home for Christmas will be so special to spend it with you and Maddie. I can't wait."

Phil smiled at me. He took his hand and placed it on my cheek he leaned in and softly kissed me.

I welcomed the kiss. And boy did we kiss. It was soft but passionate.

I couldn't wait to spend the holidays with Phil and his family.

But there was something that was plaguing me. There was something in the back of my mind that I just couldn't shake I just wish I knew what it was.


	19. Chapter 19

I was so excited about going to Chicago for the holidays. I had already bought gifts for Maddie. But there was one special gift for phil that I couldn't wait to give him.

I was packing my suitcase, filling it with everything I was going to need for 3 weeks. I could hear my cell phone ringing from the night stand.

"Hello."

"Hey there gorgeous. I'm on my way over to help you pack. Plus I have that bag you need."

"Great thanks Liz the front door is unlocked I'm in the bedroom."

"Ok I'll be there in 10."

I hung up with Liz and headed over to the closet to get out some warm sweaters phil told me that Chicago winters can be cold. I grabbed a bunch of sweaters and hoodies when I noticed one sweater that I took out. It was John's Harvard sweatshirt.

"Wow I forgot this was in here." I held it close to me and when I breathed in it still smelled like john or more like the cologne he use to wear.

I could feel some tears running down my face. I didn't even hear liz come in.

"Lisa honey you here."

I wiped the tears away.

"Yeah lizzy I'm in the bedroom." I said placing the sweatshirt back on the bed.

"Hey doll face. Wow. Lisa honey your only going to Chicago for 3 weeks not a year."

"What I wanna be prepared for anything. Phil said he's got some stuff planed for us."

"Oh really like what."

"I'm not really sure all I know is he told me to bring warm clothes and my hiking boots."

"Your hiking boots. I didn't know that Chicago was hilly or hike worthy."

"Me either but I'll be prepared."

I turned my back to get something from the bathroom when I came back in liz was sitting on the bed holding John's Harvard sweater.

"Honey are you taking this with you."

"No." I said grabbing it from liz.

"Honey this get away it will be good for you. You'll see. You and Phil you guys will have a amazing time."

"I know."

I took the sweatshirt and placed it back in the closet.

"Ok let's get you finished up and get you to the airport you have a plane to catch."

After we had finished packing my stuff liz drove me to the airport.

"Ok now I want you to have fun with Phil. Just sit back, relax and forget about life. Enjoy time with Maddie and Phil. You deserve this honey."

"I will and Liz thanks for everything."

Liz hugged me.

_"Now boarding flight 797 to Chicago O'Hare first class and row 1 to 15 now boarding."_

"Well that's me. I promise I'll call when I get there."

I said hugging liz.

When I got on the plane and got settled in my seat I checked my phone one last time and I saw I had a text from phil.

**_Can't wait to see you and your beautiful face. I hope you don't mind my buddy scott is gonna pick you up I've got some things to take care of before you get here. He'll be waiting for you at the airport. I miss you Lisa._**

I smiled after I read the text I couldn't wait to see phil. I missed his smile, his laugh the way his arms felt around me.

This Christmas was gonna be a good one. Spending it with Phil and Maddie was gonna be good.

But I still had a gut feeling that something was gonna go horribly wrong.


	20. Chapter 20

After a very long a bumpy flight I was finally in Chicago.

I went to the baggage claim to pick up my bags. Before I went to baggage claim I got a text from Scott or as he's known in the wrestling world as Colt Cabana telling me where to meet him.

I was standing outside and surprisingly it wasn't as cold as I thought it would be. Suddenly I heard someone calling my name.

"Lisa."

I turned around and saw a very big guy standing there.

"Wow punk told me you were pretty but he didn't tell me you were drop dead gorgeous. Hubba hubba."

I just couldn't help but giggle.

"And you must be Scott, phil has told me a lot about you."

"All good I hope."

"Yes all good."

"Are these your bags."

"Yep those are mine."

"Alright how bout we get this show on the road."

Scott was such a gentlemen. On the car rides to Phil's place we talked about everything. How phil and I met, what I liked what I didn't like everything he talked so highly of phil.

I didn't even realize we had made it to Phil's place.

"Well this is where I bid you a fond farewell my lady."

"Scott thanks for the ride."

He took my hand and kissed it. He handed me my bags out of the trunk.

I headed up the steps and knocked on the door. I was so nervous my heart was beating so fast I could hear it in my ears. When the door finally opened a young women was standing there.

"Can I help you."

"Hi I'm lisa."

"Oh I'm sorry your Mr. Brooks friend. I'm sally I'm Maddie's sitter. Please come in. Mr. Brooks is out he told me you would be coming today. Here let me help you with your bags."

"Thanks Sally."

Sally helped me with my bags. As I set them down I heard a door close and the sound of little feet running down the stairs.

"Lisa you're here you're here." Maddie said running down the steps and jumping into my arms.

"Oh my goodness Maddie I have missed you so much. Look at you I think you've grown so much."

"Daddy says I'm growing like a bush."

"I think he means like a weed honey."

Maddie hugged me so hard but I didn't care I missed her so much.

"Listen sally would it be ok if I spent some time alone with Maddie, if you need to do something I'm sure Mr. Brooks wouldn't mind if you left."

"Are you sure I really do need to get home and pack I'm going home for the holidays. Well then Maddie you be good. I'll see you soon."

After Maddie said goodbye to sally, Maddie and I went up to her room to play.

I loved watching Maddie play it was so cute. she would sit on her floor and play with her dolls, brushing there hair and reading them stories it just made my heart melt.

"Hello."

I heard someone downstairs.

"Maddie stay here honey I'll be right back."

I left Maddie in her room and headed downstairs to see Phil walking around the living room.

"Maddie, sally where are you guys."

"I hope you don't mind I sent Sally home she had packing to do."

I said standing at that the bottom of the steps.

Phil smiled big and walked over to me. He didn't say anything he grabbed me around my waist and kissed me. he spun me around holding me tight in his arms.

"Phil I'm getting dizzy."

"I'm sorry I'm just so happy to see you. When did you get here."

"About an hour of ago."

"Where's Maddie."

"She's in her room."

Phil couldn't take his eyes off me. I was so glad I was finally there. Phil held me close to him again and kissed me lovingly. And I welcomed it. I was so happy to be there in Phil's home and in his arms.

But once again that feeling in my gut came back but I brushed it off and decided to have the most amazing time ever.


	21. Chapter 21

I woke up the next morning to the sound of a child's laughter.

I got up and put my robe on and headed downstairs.

I walked outside and saw phil and Scott playing with Maddie.

"Swing me uncle Scott."

"Ok peanut. Ready."

I watched Scott lift Maddie over his head. I smiled when I heard Maddie let out a loud cry of laughter.

I walked down the steps to the yard.

Scott saw me and came jogging over to me.

"Hey there sleepy head." Scott said with a very giggly Maddie on his shoulders.

"Hi Scott. Looks like you've got something on your shoulders."

"Yeah I know and I can't seem to get it off." he said shaking Maddie making her laugh more.

"Uncle Scott I can't come off your shoulders."

Scott smiled and started to run around with Maddie. I looked and saw Phil smiling at me.

"Morning." Phil said kissing my cheek.

"Good morning."

"Did you sleep ok."

"Yeah I slept great. I slept so great I almost forgot where I was."

Phil took my hand and we walked over to a bench.

"So what do you wanna do today." He said putting his arm around me.

"Oh I don't know what do you have planned for us."

"Well I was thinking we could go for a walk in the park."

"That sounds amazing. I'll go upstairs and get changed."

I gave Phil a kiss on the cheek and headed upstairs to get dressed.

After I got dressed I headed downstairs to the living room and saw Phil waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs.

"Wow you look to good to go for a walk in the park."

All I could do was smile.

Phil helped me put on my coat and we headed out for our walk.

Walking through the park with phil was amazing the tree's were all decorated for Christmas and the views from the park were breathing taking.

"Hey will you do me a favor."

"Sure phil."

"Will you close your eyes."

"Why do you want me to close my eyes."

"It's a surprise."

"Ok."

I did what he asked me and I closed my eyes. I felt him grab my hands and walk me to something what that was I didn't know. We didn't walk long I could feel him let go of my hands and get behind me.

"Ok open your eyes."

When I opened my eyes there was a gorgeous picnic set up for us.

"Oh phil this is so gorgeous."

Phil smiled. We walked over to the blanket and sat down. Phil pulled out a thermos.

The view was outstanding.

"This view is amazing phil."

"Yeah I use to come here a lot." he said handing me a cup of hot coco.

"Yeah I come here a lot to think and just get away from everyday life sometimes."

"Did you spend anytime here when Monica died."

"Yeah I think I spent everyday here after she passed away. I don't know why but I felt closer to her. When Maddie was a year old I brought her up here and we tossed a white rose into the river."

I placed my hand on phil's and looked into his eyes.

He took my cup from me and then he leaned in and kissed me. There was something different about this kiss it was more passionate and tender then all the other's.

Then things started to get more passionate. Phil pulled me close to him and to my surprise I wasn't backing away. The feel of his hands on my body felt good it felt really really good. Before I knew it phil's lips were on my neck and I welcomed it.

But suddenly I pulled away.

"Phil wait." I said putting my hands on his chest.

"What's wrong."

"I'm not ready for this. Everything just feels like it's moving so fast. You must hate me for this."

"Hey I could never hate you. If anyone should be sorry it's me I didn't mean to pressure you into something your not ready for."

I smiled and kissed him.

After we kissed he held me.

In my heart I wanted to more forward but my head kept screaming that it was to soon.

I just hoped when I was ready Phil would still be there.


	22. Chapter 22

Later that day I was sitting in the living room reading. Phil had taken Maddie out to get some ice cream. So this gave me a chance to explore the house.

I headed to Phil's den and saw pictures from all his matches and I saw some replica belts of the titles he has won over the years. I walked over to a case a saw a replica of his wwe title belt with a plaque that read.

_**Cm Punk **_  
_**The Best in the world **_  
_**WWE Champion 434 days.**_

I smiled and remembered the joke I told Liz saying that if held the belt any longer they would have to change it to The Best In The World Title.

I left the den and walked upstairs to Maddie's room I just loved looking at the bright colors on the walls her carpet was even a giant butterfly.

I walked down the hall and saw pictures lining the walls. Some of them were pictures of phil with Scott, some were pics with his family. But one pic that caught my eye was a picture of Phil and I guessed it was Monica I took it off the wall to get a better look at it.

I sat down on the windowsill and studied it. Phil was standing behind Monica with his hands on her belly. I couldn't believe how beautiful she looked. And phil he had a smile on his face. I was so deep into looking at the picture I didn't even hear someone come in.

"She was beautiful wasn't she."

"Yeah she was."

"You must be Lisa. Hi I'm Chaleen, Phil's sister."

"Oh hi Chaleen."

"Wow phil was right you are pretty. I feel like I know you already he talks about you all the time. He told me about your husband."

"Yeah he passed away last year. Your brother has been a god sent to me he's helped me through so much."

"He told me you helped Maddie when she got lost."

"I did. I love that little girl she is a very smart young lady."

"Yeah a bit smarter for her age then she should be."

Chaleen and I kept talking. Cha told what phil was like as a kid and how he was your typical boy and how much he loved his comic books and wrestling.

Cha and I went down to the living room to continue our talk when Phil came in with Maddie.

"Auntie Cha."

"Hi baby girl."

"Cha what are you doing here."

"Well brother dear I came to see my gorgeous niece and to meet lisa."

I smiled at phil.

"Oh Maddie honey look at you you've got chocolate all over your face. How about I take you up to get a bath and then we can help daddy make dinner."

"Ok auntie cha."

All I could do was laugh. This left phil and I alone.

"So what do you think of my sister."

"She's amazing. She actually caught me looking at a picture."

"Oh which one."

"You and Monica. And Monica looked very pregnant."

"Oh yeah that one."

"What was it like when Maddie was born."

"It was amazing but it was also the day Monica died."

"I know Cha told me."

"The day Monica died I was a mess I was on the road when I got the call that Monica had gone into labor. I think I ran every red light to get home in time to see Maddie being born. I'll never forget it."

**_Flashback _**  
**_August 21, 2008._**

**_I was driving frantically through the Chicago traffic trying to get to the hospital before the baby was born. My phone was ringing off the hook I knew it was my sister Chaleen._**

**_"Phil where are you."_**

**_"I'm almost there Cha, how's Monica."_**

**_"She's scared she thinks your not gonna make it."_**

**_"No way. Cha I'm about to pull into the parking lot just go be with Monica I'll be there in a minute."_**

**_After I hung up with Cha I must have got the first parking spot I found then I just ran to her room. I busted through the door and saw my sister holding Monica's hand trying to keep her calm._**

**_"I'm here."_**

**_"Phil you made it."_**

**_"Of course I made it. Did you think I would miss my baby being born. Not for all the money in the world."_**

**_I just stood there and took care of Monica._**

**_It must have been hours and she wasn't dilating the way the doctors had hoped she would._**

**_"Monica your not progressing as fast I would have hoped so before the babies heartbeat drops I wanna get you in for a C-Section."_**

**_"But I don't understand I thought I was ok to deliver naturally."_**

**_"At first yes you were but in the last 10 hours you've only dilated 1 centimeter and not only that your blood pressure has dropped enough to have cause concern. The faster I get the baby delivered the better your condition will be."_**

**_"Ok doc do what you have to do."_**

**_We all watched the doc talk to the nurse. When I looked at her I could see the concerned look on her face. I wish I could have done something to reassure her but there was nothing I could do._**

**_The nurses came and got Monica and told me to stay in the room so I did. After a little while they came and got me and took me down to the delivery room. When I walked in Monica was already on the table._**

**_I was dressed in my scrubs when I looked at her I can remember what she said to me._**

**_"You look ridiculous."_**

**_"Oh come on I think I'll make this a fashion statement."_**

**_All we did was laugh._**

**_"Phil. I want you to promise me something."_**

**_"Anything baby."_**

**_"If I don't make it. I don't want you mourn me you need be strong for our baby. He or she is gonna need you."_**

**_"Hey don't talk like that your gonna be fine."_**

**_"Phil please just listen to me. I want you find love again someone to care of you and to help you take care of the baby. Please promise me."_**

**_I didn't know what to say so I said the only I could say._**

**_"I promise baby. I promise."_**

**_I think when I told I promise she felt better._**

**_"Ok Monica now your gonna feel some pressure."_**

**_I could see the pain on her face. I wished I could take it away but I couldn't._**

**_"Alright baby is out. It's a girl."_**

**_"Oh my god Phil a girl we have a girl."_**

**_"A girl. I'm so proud of you baby."_**

**_"Is she ok."_**

**_"She's fine."_**

**_When the nurse brought her over to me and placed her in my arms I was so amazed she was so little she didn't have any hair._**

**_"Phil let me see her."_**

**_I leaned down and placed her next to Monica._**

**_"Hi baby I'm your mommy. Phil I wanna name her Madison."_**

**_"Madison I love it."_**

**_When looked at Monica she was pale and sweating._**

**_"Doc is she ok."_**

**_"Nurse take the baby and please escort phil outside please."_**

**_"No I wanna stay what's wrong."_**

**_But they took Maddie away from me and ushered me into the hallway._**

**_I paced the hall outside the delivery room it felt like forever. When the doc finally came out I was terrified._**

**_"Doc is Monica ok is the baby ok."_**

**_"The baby is fine phil she's up in the NICU just as a precaution."_**

**_"Ok great so are the nurses getting Monica ready to go up to her room."_**

**_"Phil I'm sorry but Monica didn't make it."_**

**_"What."_**

**_"She started hemorrhaging she was losing blood rapidly we did everything we could but she's gone I'm so sorry."_**

**_I felt like I was in a dream and I was gonna wake up and Monica would be next to me with the baby but my whole body just began shaking._**

**_I couldn't tell my family about it so I asked the doc to. I went to the nursery and just looked at Maddie and thought how much she looked liked Monica and it killed me._**

**_End Flashback._**

"A few days later we had the funeral and I was so distant I didn't even wanna hold my own daughter. Scott and my sister tried there bet to help me but I just shut down I wouldn't let anyone in. Everyone was beyond worried about me. I wouldn't eat I didn't sleep. There days I would just disappear. Most of the time If I wasn't walking around the city I was in the park. The place I took you to."

All I did was nod.

"I can see it in your face how much you loved Monica. And I hope I can be as good to you as she was."

"Lisa you have brought me so much joy and happiness. You could have told me to just bug off but you didn't you care about my baby girl not only do you make her smile but you make me smile to. And I just hope that I make you smile."

"You do."

I leaned in close and kissing phil softly. When I pulled back I smiled.

"Now that is the smile I was talking about."

We just sat there and held each other.

I was happy that phil was able to open up about Monica. Everything felt good and I haven't felt this way since John died and I hoped that this time with Phil and Maddie would be memorable.


	23. Chapter 23

A few days later I was enjoying my time with Phil and Maddie so much that I was thinking about looking into maybe finding a job in Chicago and moving there.

I was on the phone with Liz talking about it.

"Liz I'm telling you it's so gorgeous here. Phil has taken me to so many places I've lost count."

"That sounds awesome honey I'm so glad your having fun."

"Hey I've got a great idea why don't you come here for a couple days."

"Oh honey I don't know I mean I have a ton of work to do."

"Liz you run your own hair salon I'm sure they can do just fine without you for a few days besides no one is going to wanna work on Christmas anyway. You don't wanna hear me beg do you."

"Oh god no please no begging. Ok I'll tell the girls they have the week off with pay and I'll set up a flight to come to Chicago."

"Yes. I can't wait to see you. I'll talk to you soon."

After I hung up with Liz I went outside and saw phil and Scott sitting out on the back deck so I walked down and sat with them.

"Hello gorgeous." Scott said

I sat in-between phil and Scott. Phil put his arm around me and kissed my cheek.

"So did you have a nice talk with Liz." Phil asked me.

"I did and guess what."

"What." Both phil and Scott said.

"She is coming down here fro Christmas."

"That's great baby when is she coming."

"Well she needs to close up her salon and give her crew the week off then she'll be down so I'm guessing in a couple days."

"Does she know where she is going to stay."

"I would assume a hotel."

"What a hotel no way she can stay here I have more then enough room."

"Phil are you sure."

"Absolutely. In fact my den was a bedroom and there is a hide away bed in there and a more then big enough closet I know how Liz loves her clothes."

"But what if you need to work on something won't she be in the way."

"Not at all besides my basement has a computer and I have my laptop so I can work from anywhere in the house."

I kissed phil.

"Have I told you how amazing you are to my friends and me."

"No but I'm sure you can show me."

I giggled and kissed phil again.

"Um hello getting sick over here."

Phil and I pulled away from each other and started laughing.

I was so happy that Liz was coming to visit. Liz was really all the family I had left. And I couldn't wait to take her shopping.

Liz was going to have a great time with me.

Later that night I was in my room readying when I heard someone knock on the door.

"Come in."

When the door opened it was Phil.

"Hey just wanted to come and say good night."

"Phil please come in I wanted to talk to you about something."

Phil came in and sat down next to me on the bed.

"Do you remember when we were out to dinner the other night do you remember what we talked about."

"That I should take you out on my scooter."

"No silly about me maybe moving here."

I saw Phil's eyes light up like a kid on Christmas morning.

"Have you thought more about it."

"I have I mean there's really nothing in New York for me. Most of my family is gone. My parents both died when I was young and really the only family I had was John and Liz and now I only have Liz. So I'm still thinking about it."

I put my head down. Phil placed his finger on my chin and raised my head up.

"Your wrong about one thing."

"What's that."

"You've got a family. You've got Scott and cha and Maddie and more importantly you've got me."

I smiled at phil.

It warmed my heart to know how much phil cared about me. And I cared about him to. So much so very much.


	24. Chapter 24

**_I'm sorry this chapter is so short. And i'm sorry i haven't update my laptop pitched a fit and i had to back track and reread my story so here is Ch 24 i hope you like it._**

A day later I was at the airport with Phil and Scott waiting for Liz's plane to land.

When her plane finally landed everyone was getting off and then I saw her.

"Lizzy hey Lizzy over here." I called out to her.

When liz saw me she came running.

"Hey baby girl."

I think liz hugged all the air out of my body. After liz hugged the life out of me she moved over to Phil and Scott.

"Liz I'm so glad you're here."

"Me to I've missed you guys."

"Hey lisa why don't you take the car and scott and I will get a cab back to the house. That way you girls can catch up."

I smiled and went over to phil and kissed him.

"We won't be late."

Liz and I went off on our own.

While we were in town liz and I stopped at a little coffee shop catching up.

"Ok sister I want details what was that kiss all about at the airport the last time I checked you and Phil weren't an item."

"Truthfully we aren't an item we just like each other's company and occasionally we share a kiss or two." Suddenly I could feel my face get hot.

"Lisa Leigh Kennedy are you falling for Phil."

I thought about what Liz said and I wasn't sure what I was feeling. Was I falling for phil or was that wall still up around my heart.

"Lisa it's ok to be in love again."

"Love no liz it's definitely not love. Besides it's only been a year and I don't think I'm ready for love yet. I may never be ready to be in love again."

"Honey I hate to sound like a total bitch about this but you need to stop this. I loved john to he was the best guy friend I had and yes when he died I was so lost without him but I got over it and you need to get over it to. Phil's alive and well and john is finally resting peacefully he's not in pain or sick anymore. Don't let Phil slip away. Be with him start feeling something for him. No one ever replace john in your heart. Just don't sit back cause you could let a good thing slip through your fingers."

I knew liz was right but I just didn't know how to start with someone new.

But I'm sure liz knew just what to do.


	25. Chapter 25

A couple days later I was outside playing with Maddie. Phil was inside with liz.

_**Liz's POV**_

I had just come downstairs when I saw Phil sitting in the kitchen.

"Hey phil do you mind if we talked."

"Sure Liz. Here sit. Do you want some coffee."

I just nodded and phil handed me a cup of coffee.

"So liz are you enjoying yourself here."

"Yes I am. Maddie is a very adorable little girl.

"Yeah well adorable stop after an hour. So what's on your mind."

"Well I wanted to talk to you about lisa. Now I want you to be completely honest with me. How do you feel about her."

I could see the wheels in phil's head begin to turn.

"Well I care about her a lot but I don't know how she feels about me. I don't think she is completely over John's death enough to let me in."

"Believe me Phil she's trying really really hard to let john go. But you have to understand something John and Lisa had a very long history together. They lived on the same street, and yes at times lisa didn't think they would ever end up together considering the difference in age but john never saw her as younger then him he saw her as the girl he fell in love with. When they got engaged it was the happiest day of lisa's like. Then when john first got sick lisa didn't know how to handle it but john dealt with cancer all his life. His father died when he was 12 years old and his mom was diagnosed with breast cancer when she was 32 she's now 60 years old and she beat it."

I could see phil was listening to everything I was telling him with intent.

"So you see Lisa has been dealing with this for a very long time. John was her soul mate and when he died a part of her died with him. Phil you and her share a similar thing. You've both had the loves of your lives taken away from you before they were ready. Be there for her comfort her when she needs it. I know it's been hard for her to open up to you but just give her time she'll come around I promise. I know you care about her and she cares about you to."

"Liz I'm not going to rush lisa into something she's not ready I promised her that when she is ready I'll be here. I care about her to much to let her go without a fight."

"Good that's all I wanted to know."

_**Lisa's POV**_  
I decided to take Maddie back in the house she told me she wasn't feeling well.

"Hey you two. I was beginning to wonder where you guys went. Umm Phil, Maddie feels a little warm do you have a thermometer."

"Yeah upstairs in the medicine cabinet." Phil said coming over to check Maddie.

I watched as phil took Maddie out of the room.

"So what were you and Phil talking about."

"Oh nothing important."

I just smiled.

**_Phil's POV_**

I took Maddie up to her room and thought about the talk I had with liz.

I wanted to make my time with Lisa special and I knew just what I had to do.


	26. Chapter 26

_**Phil's POV**_

The next morning Lisa and Liz went into town to do some shopping.

This gave me a chance to spend some time with Maddie.

"Hi Daddy."

"Hey baby girl you having fun playing with your dolls."

"Yep."

I sat down on Maddie's bed.

"Maddie can you come over here honey."

"What's wrong daddy."

"Maddie how do you feel about Lisa."

"Daddy I love her. She reads to me she plays with me. I don't ever want her to leave daddy."

All I could do was smile. It made me feel good knowing my little girl was so happy when Lisa was around.

Now that I had Maddie's outstanding approval all I could do now was sit back and wait for lisa.

_**Lisa's POV**_

Later that night.

It was 1am and I was in my room reading when I heard the sound of Maddie crying.

So I put on my robe and headed to Maddie's room to see if she was ok.

"Mommy no mommy come back mommy mommy.

I went into her room and walked over to her bed.

"Maddie, Maddie honey wake up."

She woke up with tears in her eyes and she jumped into my arms.

"Shh baby it's ok I'm here honey. Shh."

I kept rocking her but she just couldn't calm down.

"Maddie do you wanna come to my room."

She nodded wiping the tears from her face.

I carried her to my room. When I got in I placed her next to me on the bed. I had gone into the bathroom to get a wash cloth. I wiped her face and finally got her to calm down enough to tell me what was wrong.

"Ok honey now tell me what's wrong."

"I saw mommy. I tried to grab her but she left me. I wanted her to stay but she left me."

"Oh honey I'm sure mommy tried to stay with you but see your mommy was sick and she couldn't stay with you. But you know what your mommy is a angel remember when I told you that."

"Yeah."

"So even though your mommy isn't here on earth with you she is always going to be with you in your heart."

Maddie gave me a little smile and sniffled.

"You wanna stay in here with me tonight."

"Yeah."

"Ok tuck in here."

I turned off the light and Maddie Snuggled up to me. I kissed her head.

"Goodnight lisa I love you."

"I love you to Maddie, sweet dreams."

Within moments Maddie was sound asleep. And soon after that so was I.

_**Phil's POV**_

I went in to check on Maddie when I saw she wasn't there I thought maybe she was with lisa and I was right she was and they were both sound asleep.

I saw my little girl sleeping peacefully next to a women that I was falling in love with. All I wanted was for my little girl to be happy and have someone in her life she can call mommy and maybe just maybe that person could be lisa. I just hoped that one day soon lisa was feeling the same way about me that I was feeling about her.


End file.
